Mr. Baseball Hat

I’ve known Mr. Baseball Hat (BH) for seven years now. For the past few months Mr. BH has attempted to get my attention–he comes over, we hang out, etc. I did a pretty good job ignoring him until recently when I started seeing him, returning his calls, and even being proactive about making plans. He became distant and it was then that I realized that Mr. BH did not want attention–he wanted to be ignored. Since I really don’t see Mr. BH fitting into any of the four pillars (except for sexual glorification) but to be honest, he’s not that hot and I’m not that desperate. I decided to take a pass on the idea of Mr. BH and began entertaining his little games. It’s been fun. A small sample of a text of our typical conversations is below.

Q: What time should I come over?

Mr. BH: Lol! Seriously?

Q: If you want to see me… Whatever.

Mr. BH: Come over tomorrow. I’m going to bed now. I do want to see you though

Q: No I have plans tomorrow. Tonight would be ideal. Don’t be a pussy and just stay up for a couple of hours

Mr. BH: Next time. I’m tired. Besides I wouldn’t have even got a blowjob

Q: No, you’re right. I don’t give blow jobs before sex and more importantly I don’t beg. Someone else will do.

Mr. BH: Lol! You need to start being nice to me ;)

Q: Um I was. I offered to come over. You chose sleep I chose to call someone else. The end.

Good night and good luck.